Ganduri la 40 de ani

1. Nimeni nu ne promite ziua de maine, nici macar clipa urmatoare nu este garantata.

Momentul de ACUM este tot ceea ce avem. Si atunci intrebarea pe care ne-o putem pune este “Cum alegem sa traim acest moment de ACUM?”

2. Eu sunt si iadul meu si raiul meu 

Ceea ce se intampla in exteriorul meu nu conteaza. Tot ceea ce conteaza este cum aleg eu sa-l interpretez si sa-l primesc. Pot alege sa ma simt o victima, sa nu mai vad luminita de la capatul tunelului, pot alege sa ma simt infranta insa, in egala masura si cu acelasi efort pot alege sa vad ce-mi aduce bun acea clipa, pot alege sa vad oportunitatea, pot alege sa vad frumusetea din tot ce ma inconjoara si din mine insami. Doar de mine depinde starea mea interioara, de nimeni altcineva.

3. Suntem ceea ce gandim despre noi si despre ceilalti

Plecand de la ideea ca noi suntem creatorii vietii noastre, tot ceea ce se reflecta in exterior sunt doar gandurile noastre. Daca vrem ca viata noastra sa fie mai buna, mai frumoasa, tot ceea ce trebuie sa facem este sa schimbam ceea ce gandim

4. Iubirea de sine, o lectie care mie mi-a fost foarte complicat sa o invat.

Iubindu-ma pe mine, indiferent ce se intampla in exteriorul meu, nimic nu ma poate darama. Viata mea poate fi fabuloasa, magica, cu infinite oportunitati doar intorcandu-ma la mine insami. 

In acelasi timp, fara a ne iubi pe noi insine, viata noastra poate fi un calvar. Iar ceea ce mai cred acum este ca iubirea de sine nu este optionala in aceasta existenta. Iubirea de sine este obligatorie. Noi alegem cand invatam aceasta lectie, dar nu este o optiune.

5. Nimeni altcineva nu este responsabil de ceea ce traiesc

Orice s-ar intampla in afara mea, eu sunt cea care genereaza evenimentele. Si chiar daca sunt implicata in actiuni care imi pot aduce suferinta, doar eu le pot lasa sa ma atinga. Daca eu nu permit sa mi se faca rau, acel rau nu mi se intampla.

6. Fiecare om din viata mea si fiecare intamplare, fara exceptie, sunt daruri divine. 

Nu exista persoane sau intamplari care sa ne faca rau. Toate ne sunt date spre binele nostru. Datoria noastra, sarcina noastra, misiunea noastra este sa descoperim acel dar si sa-l folosim pentru ca viata noastra sa fie una mai buna.

7. Toti suntem una

Toti contribuim la ce este lumea de azi, toti putem face ca ea sa fie una mai buna si toti impreuna o putem face sa fie mai rea. Noi nu existam unul fara celalalt.

Este cateodata dificil sa intelegem aceasta relationare, aceasta dependenta. Dar, o daca acceptata, observam si cum concurenta dintre noi, sentimentul de singuratate, nevoia de a avea ce are celalalt, nu-si mai au rostul. 

Toti suntem una si tot ceea ce creeaza fiecare dintre noi ii influenteaza si pe ceilalti.

8. Nu exista nimic fara Dumnezeu.

Intr-o perioada mai dificila din viata mea mi-am luat timp sa ma uit la cum cresc firele de iarba. Si atunci mi-am dat seama ca eu nu pot face un fir de iarba sa creasca. Nu pot. Firele de iarba cresc printr-o alta putere, care nu este a mea. 

Eu nu m-as fi nascut fara Dumnezeu, copacii nu cresc fara Dumnezeu. Exista ceva mai mare decat noi toti care face ca toate procesele vietii sa se desfasoare impecabil. Pentru mine acela este Dumnezeu.

9. Cu Dumnezeu totul este posibil

Atunci cand esti intr-o situatie dificila iti poti aminti ca exista cineva care te iubeste infinit, care iti sustine viata indiferent de ce ai face tu si ce ai gandi tu, care este langa tine neconditionat.  Si acela pentru mine este Dumnezeu

10. Dumnezeu nu intarzie niciodata 

Noi ne grabim foarte tare: ne dorim relatii, masini, averi, iubire si pace sufleteasca si despre toate am vrea sa se intample instantaneu. Uitam insa ca de fapt viata nu este doar despre destinatie, viata noastra in primul rand este despre calatoria pana la destinatie. Bogatia pe care viata noastra o acumuleaza in fiecare zi nu este data de succesul de peste o luna, de peste 1 an sau de peste 2 ani. Ci este data de ceea ce alegem noi sa traim acum, in fiecare moment. 

Am mai invatat ca este important pentru mine sa am incredere ca Dumnezeu nu intarzie niciodata. Si in multe situatii acest crez mi-a dat foarte multa putere, m-a invatat sa am rabdare, ceea ce pentru un Geaman este extrem de provocator. Dar am invatat ce inseamna frumusetea drumului si increderea ca niciodata nu sunt singura si ca atunci cand va fi cel mai benefic pentru mine ca anumite lucruri sa se manifeste in viata mea, atunci se vor intampla. 

11. Iarta si iubeste-i pe cei care-ti fac rau vreodata 

Candva cand vei intelege darul pe care acestia ti l-au facut prin comportamentul lor. 

12. Lupta pentru ceea ce iubesti.

Ce am mai invatat eu a fost ce de multe ori nu luptam impotriva celorlalti, ci luptam impotriva ego-ului nostru, a fricilor noastre, dar nu impotriva celorlati.

Iubirea merita traita, merita sa lupti pentru ea, merita sa te bucuri de ea.

13. Pana nu mori, traiesti.

Atata timp cat suntem vii, atata timp cat existam aici, orice este posibil: orice vis se poate implini, orice minune poate avea loc. Doar atunci cand nu vom mai fi aici, doar atunci putem spune ca nu mai putem face nimic. Insa pana atunci traim si asta inseamna ca avem toata hrana de care avem nevoie, toate conditiile necesare vietii, toata ingrijirea de care avem nevoie si nu trebuie sa ne fie frica ca acestea ne lipsesc. Atata timp cat putem respira, mai avem o speranta. Sa nu ne concentram pe lucrurile care pot merge prost. Sa ne bucuram si sa ne concentram pe ce putem face acum.

14. Suntem oameni si avem limite

Mult timp am crezut ca am puteri nelimitate, indiferent de cat de mult imi exploatez corpul. Ca pot lucra fara oprire toata viata si fara niciun fel de repercursiune. Dar nu a fost asa, astfel incat am invatat ca corpul meu are nevoie de pauza, de grija, de atentie.

Am mai invatat ca aceste limite ne sunt date din iubire pentru noi, pentru ca noi sa putem gasi solutii si resurse pe care altfel nu le-am cauta. Am mai invatat ca aceste limite ne sunt cele mai frumoase daruri pe care le primim. 

Am mai invatat ca este o mare arta sa traiesti in echilibru cu tine insati, cu limitele tale, cu ceilalti. O data ce ajungi acolo, viata aici poate fi mai frumoasa si mai bogata decat ne-am putea inchipui si plina de o vitalitate.

15. Sa nu ne comparam unii cu ceilalti

Niciunul dintre noi nu este mai frumos, mai bun, mai….decat ceilalti. Noi nu ne comparam unii cu ceilalti, desi asa am fost invatati de societate pana acum. 

Suntem aici fiecare in propria lui calatorie. Daca alegem sa ne comparam cu cineva, ne putem compara cu propriul nostru potential. Ne putem intreba: oare in situatia asta as fi putut face mai mult, as fi putut invata mai mult, as fi putut fi mai bun? Dar sa ne punem aceste intrebari noi pentru noi insine, nu pentru a ne compara cu ceiallti.

Noi nu suntem ce se vede la exterior. Profunzimea fiintei noastre este infinita. Noi stim foarte putine despre noi insine, cu atat mai putin stim despre ceilalti. Sa nu-i judecam fiindca nu stim ce-i acolo. Si sa intelegem sa nu ne comparam. 

Calatoriile noastre, chiar daca se intersecteaza pe alocuri, sunt totusi separate. Eu mi le inchipui, chiar si in momentele in care se intersecteaza, ca sunt tot paralele. Si in paralelismul lor, din cand in cand experientele se traiesc impreuna. Dar vietile noastre nu se suprapun.

16. Mesaj pentru femei: descoperiti-va feminitatea si manifestati-o!

Gasiti in feminitatea voastra puterea, creativitatea, frumusetea, blandetea, bunatatea si toate darurile care se ascund in ea, in vulnerabilitate, in pace, in armonie, in tot ceea de multe ori nu ne dorim sa aratam. Feminitatea pana acum nu a fost privita cu ochi buni si puteai usor sa primesti etichete deloc onorabile. Dar daca sunteti femei si cititi aceste randuri, va invit sa va uitati in oglinda, sa va acceptati feminitatea si sa o manifestati. Lumea intreaga poate fi una mai buna daca voi faceti asta. 

Inafara de concluziile de mai sus, eu mai iau cu mine doua intrebari in fiecare zi. Le consider intrebari de control fiindca ma ajuta sa fiu autentica si sa ofer lumii ce am eu mai bun, sa iau decizii in deplina armonie cu fiinta mea si cu tot ceea ce esxita. Cele doua intrebari sunt:

“Ce as face acum daca m-as iubi cu adevarat?” si

“Ce decizie as lua acum daca aceasta ar fi ultima mea zi a vietii mele?”.

Aceste intrebari imi aduc claritate, curaj, ma ajuta sa manifest deplin cine sunt si nu lasa frica sau ego-ul sau alte elemente sa perturbe deciziile luate.

Fiindca stiu ca fericirea oricaruia dintre voi se reflecta in fericirea mea si a intregii umanitati, azi imi doresc sa constientizati cat de valorosi sunteti pentru mine, pentru intreaga umanitate, la cat de importante sunt vietile voastre aici. 

Si va mai invit sa va puneti intrebarea “Ce as face acum daca m-as iubi cu adevarat?”si sa faceti primul lucru la care va ganditi. Oricat de nebunesc ar fi, oricat de comic sau oricat de simplu si banal, faceti-l. O intreaga lume va fi mai fericita daca voi veti zambi macar putin.

Aici poti urmari inregistrarea video care contine mesajele de mai sus: https://www.facebook.com/maria.duduman.16/videos/350534320488204

English version:

Thoughts at 40

No one promises us tomorrow, not even the next moment is guaranteed.

The NOW moment is all we have. And so the question we can ask ourselves is “How do we choose to live this NOW moment?”

I am both my hell and my heaven 

What happens on the outside of me doesn’t matter. All that matters is how I choose to interpret and receive it. I can choose to feel like a victim, to no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can choose to feel broken but equally and with equal effort I can choose to see what good that moment brings me, I can choose to see the opportunity, I can choose to see the beauty in everything around me and in myself. My inner state depends only on me, on no one else.

We are what we think about ourselves and others.

Based on the idea that we are the creators of our lives, all that is reflected on the outside are our thoughts. If we want our lives to be better, more beautiful, all we have to do is change what we think.

Self-love, a lesson that was very hard for me to learn.

Loving myself, no matter what happens on the outside, nothing can damage me. My life can be fabulous, magical, with endless opportunities just by turning to myself. 

At the same time, without loving ourselves, our life can be an ordeal. And what I now believe is that self-love is not optional in this existence. Self-love is mandatory. We choose when we learn this lesson, but it is not an option.

No one else is responsible for what I live.

Whatever happens outside of me, I am the one generating the events. And even if I am involved in actions that can bring me suffering, only I can let them touch me. If I do not allow harm to come to me, that harm does not happen to me.

Every person in my life and every event, without exception, are divine gifts. 

There are no people or events that can harm us. All are given to us for our good. Our duty, our task, our mission is to discover that gift and use it to make our lives better.

We are all one

We all contribute to what the world is today, we can all make it a better world and together we can make it a worse world. We do not exist without each other.

It is sometimes difficult to understand this relationship, this dependence. But once we accept it, we also see how the competition between us, the feeling of loneliness, the need to have what the other has, no longer make sense. 

We are all one and everything that each of us creates influences others.

There is nothing without God.

During a more difficult time in my life I took time to watch the grass grow. And that’s when I realized that I can’t make a blade of grass grow. I can’t. The blades of grass grow by another power, which is not mine. 

I wouldn’t have been born without God, trees don’t grow without God. There’s something bigger than all of us that makes all the processes of life run smoothly. For me that is God.

With God everything is possible

When you are in a difficult situation you can remember that there is someone who loves you infinitely, who sustains your life no matter what you do or what you think, who is there for you unconditionally. And that for me is God

God is never late 

We are in a big hurry: we want relationships, cars, possessions, love and peace of mind and we want it all to happen instantly. But we forget that in fact life is not just about the destination, our life is primarily about the journey to the destination. The wealth that our life accumulates every day is not given by the success of over a month, over 1 year or over 2 years. It is given by what we choose to live now, in each moment. 

I have also learned that it is important for me to trust that God never delays. And in many situations this belief has given me a lot of strength, it has taught me to be patient, which for a Gemini is extremely challenging. But I have learned the beauty of the journey and the confidence that I am never alone and that when it is most beneficial for me for certain things to manifest in my life, then they will happen. 

Forgive and love those who ever hurt you. 

Someday you’ll understand the gift they have given you through their behavior. 

Fight for what you love.

What I learned was that we often don’t fight against others, we fight against our ego, our fears, but not against others.

Love is worth living, worth fighting for, worth enjoying.

Until you die, you live.

As long as we are alive, as long as we exist here, anything is possible: any dream can come true, any miracle can happen. Only when we are no longer here, only then can we say we can do nothing. But until then we live and that means we have all the food we need, all the conditions of life, all the care we need and we need not be afraid that we lack them. As long as we can breathe, we still have hope. Let’s not focus on the things that can go wrong. Let us rejoice and focus on what we can do now.

We’re human and we have limits

For a long time I thought I had unlimited powers, no matter how much I exploited my body. That I can work non-stop all my life and without any repercussions. But it wasn’t like that, so I learned that my body needs rest, care, attention.

I also learned that these limits are given to us out of love for us, so that we can find solutions and resources we would not otherwise seek. I have also learned that these limits are the most beautiful gifts we receive. 

It is a great art to live in balance with yourself, with your limits, with others. Once you get there, life here can be more beautiful and richer than we could imagine and full of vitality.

Let’s not compare ourselves to each other

None of us is more beautiful, better, more …. than the others. We should not compare ourselves to each other, even though we have been taught so by society until now. 

We are here each on our own journey. If we need to compare ourselves to someone, let’s compare ourselves to our own potential. We can ask ourselves: could I have done more, could I have learned more, could I have been better? But let’s ask these questions for ourselves, not to compare ourselves with others.

We are not what we see on the outside. The depth of our being is infinite. We know very little about ourselves, even less about others. Let’s not judge them because we don’t know what’s there. And understand not to compare ourselves. 

Our journeys, even if they intersect at times, are still separate. I imagine them, even in the moments when they intersect, as still parallel. And in their parallelism, from time to time the experiences are lived together. But our lives don’t overlap.

Message to women: discover your femininity and manifest it!

Find in your femininity the strength, the creativity, the beauty, the gentleness, the goodness and all the gifts that are hidden in it, in vulnerability, in peace, in harmony, in all that we often do not want to show. Femininity until now has not been looked upon kindly and you could easily receive labels that are not honourable. But if you are a woman reading this, I invite you to look in the mirror, to accept your femininity and to show it. The whole world can be a better place if you do. 

Apart from the above conclusions, I take two more questions with me every day. I consider them control questions because they help me to be authentic and to offer the world my best, to make decisions in full harmony with my being and with all that is outside. The two questions are:

“What would I do now if I really loved myself?” and

“What decision would I make if this were the last day of my life?”.

These questions bring me clarity, courage, help me to fully manifest who I am and not let fear or ego or other elements disrupt the decisions I make.

Because I know that the happiness of each of you is reflected in the happiness of myself and all of humanity, today I want you to be aware of how valuable you are to me, to all of humanity, how important your lives are here. 

And I also invite you to ask yourself the question “What would I do now if I really loved myself?” and do the first thing you think of. No matter how crazy it is, no matter how comical, no matter how simple and banal, do it. A whole world will be happier if you smile at least a little.